7 Ways to Transition Well
10 minute read
It can be helpful to look at the art of transition in three stages – ending, pausing, beginning. The final phase, beginning, is built on a successful response to the first two. But what does a good transition look like and how do I make it through the change?
William Bridges, American author, speaker, and authority on change and transition said this:
“Change is situational. Transition, on the other hand, is psychological. It is not the events, but rather the inner reorientation or self-redefinition that you have to go through in order to incorporate any of those changes into your life. Without a transition, a change is just a rearrangement of the furniture. Unless transition happens, the change won't work, because it doesn't take”
Or to put it another way
“Change is inevitable. Growth is optional.”
(J Maxwell)
There are literally thousands of books, websites, and podcasts dedicated to the subject of change.
Whilst we often talk about change, we talk less frequently about the process of transition. That is, the inner adjustments we need to make in order to respond to the external changes.
Change and transitions we need to go through can be visceral, disturbing, and even painful. If we transition well, on the other side of change we often find opportunities, personal growth, and even a better future.
The question is: What does a good transition look like and how do I make it through the change?
At FiveAndCo. one of our core values is ‘Keep It Simple’, so we thought we would try to add to the collective knowledge of change and transition by taking away some of the duplication and complexity.
Let’s make this practical - think about the changes you are currently involved in and what transition might mean for you. To help move away from trying to control change to a focus on managing your own transition, it can be helpful to look at the art of transition in three stages – Ending, Pausing, Beginning. The final phase, beginning, is built on a successful response to the first two.
Ending
The first stage of the transition, Endings, are where we often feel the most emotion. There is a realisation that something is coming to an end and with it comes perfectly normal feelings of grief, anger, denial and fear.
A good ending, doesn’t always feel good, but there are important questions you can ask yourself to ensure you take something useful from this phase:
Expect to experience a range of emotions and give yourself time to adjust. Ideally find someone you can talk to who can support you through the change process and simply acknowledge the sense of loss. It is vital that you don’t bury how you are feeling.
As the changes arrive, it can be useful to focus on what you can celebrate about the story so far that puts the change in a specific context. Look at the bigger picture – you will often find a track record of success that you can be proud of, even amidst the loss.
Write down your plan in response to these two points. Give yourself plenty of time to consider them fully and set aside time to action them. The more you can distill from this phase, the more likely the following phases will be of use.
The Pause
As the change arrives, there is often a pause or pivot point where the old has finally passed and the new seems to be just around the corner. This second phase, the Pause, holds the greatest opportunity for growth but also the greatest threat if not handled properly.
The Pause is often experienced as a time of ‘in-betweens’ where change isn’t quite finished, and the new world hasn’t quite started. There can be confusion, disorientation, and surprisingly low levels of energy.
It can be tempting to try to rush through this phase into the new situation, or even retreat into the past. You can avoid this common pitfall by seeing this phase as the bridge between the old and the new – this phase is still attached to the old, but the purpose of this bridge is to carry you to the future. It is a bridge you need to actively decide to cross, even if you are not 100% clear on what is on the other side. Here are three activities to consider and respond to:
What behaviours or ideas have worked well for you in the past that you want to keep? What do you want to leave behind?
Spend time getting as clear as you can about what really matters most to you and what you want for the future. This is another critical foundation to help build your new beginning. It might be helpful to clarify your personal values, consider what sort of activities in the past have brought you most life and satisfaction.
Above all, take care of yourself. Manage your stress. Use relaxation techniques, eat healthily, and exercise regularly. It sounds like common sense but so many forget to take care of themselves in this phase so give your self care a personality in your diary – make an appointment with yourself!
New Beginnings
If the ‘pause’ has been given due attention and you have been able to process the endings you have experienced, the new beginnings can be exciting, full of possibility and even energising.
If you have been able to let go, and rebuild a sense of self, a new beginning can be made. You may notice a shift in attitudes or the development of new beliefs about yourself (and others) that changes how you see yourself and the world around you.
In the ‘Beginning’ phase, it can be tempting to move quickly and fully into a new reality. Try to avoid diving into everything the future holds. Start by building a simpler plan. Break things down into smaller goals can make it less daunting and create a more useful sense of progress as you ‘try on’ your new reality.
The three phases of transition can vary in length and are different for everyone, but everyone experiences change, but if you are not intentional about change, you may not transition well.
Our adaptation of William Bridges work will hopefully help you respond to change and transition well – learning more about yourself, understanding others, and learning to thrive. It can also help ask someone to accompany you on this journey especially if the change and required transition is significant. You can find out contact details on our contact page if you would like to talk through your coaching or development needs right now.
Change is inevitable, growth is optional, but it is always possible.
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